GCW12 Article 1



{| width=900 align=center = KART Retaliation  by A Docile Sloth =

KART Declare War
F ollowing LOD’s surprise attack last week, self-declared "Head Kitten" Fields made a television broadcast to all KART controlled regions. The telecast began showing Fields idly batting a ball of wool with a cat behind a large wooden desk. He used the cast to formally declare war on Ghoul’s Legion of Doom saying that “Mr Biscuits is displeased at the attack on KART’s utopia. He thinks we should counter attack and I agree. Ghoul, your days of tyranny are over. Mr Biscuits and I will show you the beauty and power of RAINBOWS!” Fields continued to declare that all able bodied men and women must help in the fight. The broadcast ended with Fields taking a piece of candy from the desk and eating it while encouraging others to do so as well for “the good of kittens everywhere”.

Initially believed to be an idle threat, LOD continued to secure the territories that they had gained in last week’s surprise attacks. KART high command attempted to use this complacency to make large pushes in theatres across the globe, however LOD had apparently been preparing for retaliation for their actions.

KART’s attack began early with an attack into South Africa. Head Kitten Fields ordered Division General Expandas into the region. The initial attack went well for KART. LOD forces were disorganised and fell back south into the Drakensberg mountains, however Legion Commander CorranHorn used knowledge of the range to halt KART’s advance. A large battle ensued around Champagne Castle which lasted several days. On the third day of fighting, CorranHorn ordered infantry around the mountains and into the plains to the North to cut KART supply lines from Congo. With no more fuel reaching the tank and air divisions in Drakensberg, KART’s offensive ground to a halt.

With the attack in South Africa slowly failing, Head Kitten led a joint attack into Ukraine and Omsk. Legion Commander Dan1mal was caught off guard with most of his forces in Omsk on shore leave. This left little option but to pull out all remaining active forces on Omsk and attempt to hold Ukraine. With little opposition left, Omsk fell within hours of the KART attack. Dan1mal’s decision to pull off troops from Omsk may have saved him Ukraine.

A Sticky Situation
L egion of Doom took a blow to their operations in Russia this week. Omsk bore the brunt of Kitten Adventure Rainbow Time’s latest offensive. Deep into the region, various local reporters are providing a bizarre insight into to newly appointed rulers. Sweets have been handed out to the local populace by passing KART forces, similar in description to those destroyed by LOD last week in Texas. Unsure if KART is in full control of the region, may civilians refused to consume the confectionary or even destroyed the items. Clearly disgruntled by the refusal of these apparent acts of refusal towards the confederacy’s leadership, Head Kitten Fields took a tour of the territory. Kindergartens were given special attention during the tour where he gave out large bags of multicoloured candy to all children in attendance.

After touring local schools, the KART leader gave a press conference. In it, he claimed that the refusal to eat sweets presented by members of his confederacy was “very silly”. He went on to say that it was rude to not accept gifts given by his troops. Any further refusal of presents would result in “an extra special gift from one of my soldier’s kitten throwers”. At the conclusion of the conference, Fields took no questions and immediately left. He was later found in a nearby knitting shop playing with balls of wool.

Scientific analysis of the sweets suggest that the inhabitants of Omsk may have been justified in their wariness of the gifts from KART. Spectroscopic analysis of the confectionery showed that they contained large amounts of Methylpropyltryptamine, a hallucinogenic substance. Medical professionals around the globe are concerned for the long term health of the public in KART occupied areas. There is very little information on the effects of Methylpropyltryptamine other than its hallucinogenic properties and the advice from the World Health Organisation is to avoid consumption of the KART sweets.

Fields' Competency Questioned
G iven Head Kitten Fields' recent behaviour in regards to the recent global events, some have questioned his sanity and ability to lead. The Duke of Rutland, John Wukey, primary funder of the Division of Brain Sciences of Imperial College London said, "Just look at the man. All of his broadcasts have him playing with cats, balls of wool, or both. He's declared himself as Head Kitten for goodness sake! He needs to be admitted to a mental institution yesterday!"

A KART spokesperson responded to the accusations stating "All members of Kitten Adventure Rainbow Time are completely confident in the Head Kittens mental health. Beside the stresses of leading an army, he is in perfect condition. For meow, Head Kitten has full cooperation of all forces under his command."

KART Retaliation


 * }